Water Closet - WC Joke

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India . She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local Schoolmaster.

She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC..

In England , a bathroom is commonly

called a WC which stands for 'Water Closet'.

She wrote to the schoolmaster

inquiring of the facilities about the WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC.. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a 'WaysideChurch' near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.

So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

--------------------------------------------

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house.

It is located in the middle of a grove of

pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229

people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays.

As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room.

This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC, as it was there, that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle.

My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time. I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment.

The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters.

We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all, since many feel it is long needed.

I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.

With deepest regards,

The Schoolmaster

The Woman fainted reading the reply......and she never visited India !!!!

What a s/w Engineer want?

What a s/w Engineer want?

An ambitious software engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life.
At least for a while.

A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly. The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no
other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his
old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.

One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous
woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.

In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from, and how did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said.

"I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," the software engineer said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?
You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

Love Story - Unexpected Climax

Nice and different one……

Do Read……

REALITY BITES

OK… So I was back in bench… I was a free bird once again… No more boarding of 7: 30 buses… No more onsite calls… No more work… I was released… Hurray!!!

Just then my mobile rang. It was my father.

“Hello… How are you?”

“Fine, how are you father?”

“I am fine. How is work going on? Are you busy...”

“Work?… Uh… Well… You see… Right now I don’t have work…” I gulped as I said these words.

“What?!!! You don’t have any work? Youngsters should work at least 12 hours a day. You are getting salary every month right?! You should take the initiative… Do you know what Gandhiji has said about work?... He said…”

My father was in the mining sector. There is nothing called bench in his line of work. Until the rise of IT industry, to be in bench is to be sitting in a classroom or in front of a tea shop.  And now, to the outside world, a guy in an IT company, sitting in bench, is a lazy and incompetent employee who should be laid off to recruit a better one.

I had a difficult time explaining to my father that I was just released from a project and will soon be put into another one, in the meantime doing any internal work. At last the call ended although I knew perfectly well he wasn’t convinced yet.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDER GARDEN BOY
To get to the other side.

GEORGE BUSH
We are committed to establishing a democracy where chickens freely cross roads without oppression from terrorist organizations.

Azharuddin
I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority.... . I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know....

George Fernandes
I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken !!!

Mulayam
I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned

ARJUN SINGH
Our policy will ensure the development of socially underprivileged chickens so that they can also cross roads.

Intelligent Counsel

INTELLIGENT COUNSEL - GOOD ONE

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people. Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate." Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Rangoli - Girls vs Boys

Girls Rangoli...

Boys Rangoli??? 

Out of Office E-mail Auto-Replies

The Best "Out of Office" E-mail Auto-Replies

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
 
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
 
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
 
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
 

Hotel Bill

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Melbourne..  
 

After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest.



They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

 
 


When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk; hands them a bill for $450.00.








The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00.



When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

It Happens!!!

…i was in flight, was going to onsite once again. was very happy :)plane
takes off, n takes me to the sky. i looked outside the window, nice evening
scene, feels like heaven.

i just lost myself in that beauty.


someone’s voice disturbed me


“excuse me sir, would you like to have something?”


i turned back, and was surprise to see my beautiful old schoolmate, Saakshi.



“Hey Saakshi, is that you, how come you… wow, you looks still the same,
pretty.. in this Air-hostess suit”


“Saurabh, wo…..w, I cant believe this is you.. ohh sorry I am on my job,
will talk to you later”


she left smile on my face. I coudnt believe in my eyes, It reminded me
my school days memories.

How crazy i was about her, always followed her after the school, wrote
love letters, but never dared to give one of them. Always looking at her
in the class, from last bench. she was the queen of our class. I fought
with 2-3 other guys for her, how stupid I was.

Corporate language !!!

Enjoy the ......Corporate language !!
What you hear and what you must listen!!!!!


"We will do it"
means
" You will do it"


"You have done a great job"
means

"More work to be given to you"


"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"


"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...
At least not tomorrow !".


"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"